Ten Tips to Survive this Weasley Family Christmas!
by ToDieYoung
Summary: BEWARE! 10 must-know tips to know before this years' Christmas party! Enter at your own risk...


**Author's note: Merry (late) Christmas everyone!! So, if you don't already know, I happen to have a lot of cousins. 19 to be exact, with one on the way! So this Christmas whilst the house was almost overfilled with people, I remembered that the next generation kids have a similar amount of family members and these tips kind of formed in my head: a Christmas like mine, but with magic included! Fun, right? Hmm… maybe a bit disastrous, but still exciting! So on with the show…**

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Ten Tips to Survive This-Year's Weasley Family Christmas!

Tip #1: Form an alliance with someone over-aged. That one's pretty self-explanatory: it's all about not getting caught defenseless when you're about to be attacked.

Tip #2: Pick out one of the little buggers that annoys you most, and stay close to them: this way, if an adult sees a random flash of light directed at your little brother's chest (damn, missed) you can look away innocently and, well, instant get out of trouble card!

Tip #3: Don't get caught up wrestling for the best piece of turkey: instead, just step over the random, fighting people scattered across the ground and get your dinner. Note: This works best if you are a girl; the boys WILL NOT touch you, especially if you try your best to look small and cute!

Tip #4: Dessert is not the time to get yum-yums; it's when you make a break for it! It's the time when everyone is distracted and you can slip away unnoticed. Plus, you'll thank yourself later; imagine a bunch of little hyper kids, who do not yet have control over their magical abilities descending upon you…

Tip #5: Learn where all the exits to every room in the house is: yes, I know I sound like a fire marshal, but it's handy for when an unexpected fight starts. If that does occur, act like it actually is a fire; stay low to the ground to avoid spells that have missed their targets, and once you are out of the room, STAY OUT! Do not go back in for missing items or small children. Seriously, they are equipped to survive their families from birth, their instincts will tell them to get out, don't bother.

Tip #6: When the girlier ones ask to do your make-up or nails or something, let them the first time they ask. If you don't, they will keep on asking until you cave in. Trust me, they are usually daddies' girls, they can hold out for a long time. Be warned however: do not let anyone younger than 12 attempt this, instead tell them that your little brother loves getting his make-up done and hand them a variety of colours of Uncle Georges' extra-permanent ink, he'll be washing that stuff off for weeks!

Tip #7: Bulletproof your room of anything valuable or breakable. Also, hide any candy or gum that you do not want eaten. No matter how many times you ask them to stay out, they always wind up inside.

Tip #8: When opening presents, suggest going in order from youngest to oldest. It gets the little brats out of the way so they don't descend on your "big kid toys" like Acromantulas to Uncle Harry and your father.

Tip #9: When the adults are finally drunk out of their minds, get everyone to quietly sit down on the sofa in the living room for a hilarious comedy show, including famous hits like: "Oh my gosh Ronald, go wash your face, I swear that there is STILL dirt on your nose!" and "Snape, Snape, Severus Snape, DUMBLEDORE! Albus Severus Potter, how many times do we have to call you before you get your arse down here?"

Tip #10: When you just need a breather, go in your room, shut the door, and write about your Christmas for other people to read who aren't as (although you don't think it sometimes) fortunate to have a family like _them._

Rosie! Come and say good-bye to everyone!

_Oh thank Merlin!_

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**Ok, so these tips are based on real life experiences from yours truly! Especially Number 9, this happened Monday to my mom on my birthday. My cousins and I just watched, and we laughed 'till it hurt! Pshaa… Good times… So anyways, Review this fantabulous story to tell me how un-fantabulous it is! **

**Love: Amy **


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